I've been looking life from a wrong perspective. Thanksgiving day is long over, but thanksgiving itself isn't over. This past Saturday was something to remember. When everyday seemed the same, when problems never ended, when the demands in life kept coming, my dad told me that we should learn how to say thanks. I mean, I have to admit that I don't feel grateful when you see so much problems wearing you down in life. It's true that problems can take all of your attention, but I'm missing out the fun in life when I forget the good things I have. When there are problems, we worry. And I always worry. Sometimes I couldn't help but worry. It's stupid, because I know it'll get fixed somehow, but I still worry thinking what if it doesn't get fixed.
Take for example. I always worry about work. What if I don't make it past the quota? How can I keep up with everybody? How can I compete with the other people? How can I get better at work?
I always worry about school. Did I study enough to pass my midterm? How can I get the best grade? Will I fail this subject? Am I doing okay to pass every course I paid for? How will I pay for my tuition fee next term? Is this really the degree that I want? What if Mom and Dad find out that I'm still not sure if this is my course? Does it mean that I've just wasted time if I shift?
I always worry about life. What is it that I really want to do? Will I ever get married? Will I get a decent job? Am I going to be the man I want to be? How would I know what's best for me?
I always worry. And I lose sleep thinking and thinking and thinking. Some say it's normal. Some say it's useless. Some say it's boring. And some say it's stupid. It has to stop.
During this worry, I forgot the good things that I have. First of all, and it's not a small thing, I'm thankful to have my family with me. I have friends abroad and they're all by themselves earning money to send home. One of my friend lost her mom from cancer. And another of my friend's mom passed away from cancer as well. I read pain and suffering from my classmate saying that she hates her parents and she couldn't wait to move out. I'm just thankful to have my family right now. I'm just thankful that I have caring, understanding, patient and loving parents.
I'm thankful that we're okay. My home, the Philippines, is in a state of calamity from the floods and there's another typhoon headed there again. I saw my relative's photos on the web and I was very much appalled about how people slept on rooftops, how they were posting 'we need drinking water' on Facebook, how I found the situation difficult. We don't have floods here, there's no fault-line where I live and weather disturbances is never an issue. When winter comes, all we have to do is dress properly for it. We've had our share of hardship when we still lived in the Philippines and our home was always flooded. I'm thankful that we don't have to deal with such difficult situations anymore.
I'm thankful for what I have. I'd like to slap myself for forgetting how blessed I am. It looks like I'm never satisfied. I have a job. I go to school. I eat three times a day. I'm able to eat when I'm hungry. I have five computers, four of them I bought with my own money. I can buy what I need. I have clothes with me. We own a house. I have lots of videogame consoles, PSX, PS2, PS3, XBox, Gamecube, XBox360, Wii, PSP, DS, DSi; I can play so much videogames and I can play in my own room undisturbed. I have access to a fast Internet. I can watch whatever I want; Filipino TV series, movies, anime. And I have money to buy manga and books for my education. I remember the time when I had to photocopy 60 pages of notes from one book that my whole class needed. I have a bed and it's warm. I have a cellphone and I can ask my dad or brother for a ride or I can call for pizza. I have all this resources and I'm thankful. Oh yeah, and I have a website *I'll tell you a story about this in the future*. It's so dumb why I feel bored sometimes.
I'm thankful for the opportunities I have. Like I said, I have work, when lots of people I know are struggling to find one. I go to school, when my cousins don't even want it anymore because it's expensive and some of them want to study further. I've been given the opportunity to experiment with myself. I've learned how to write. I've learned how to draw. I've learned how to play drums. I've learned how to become one-step better. And I should be thankful. I have friends who are dying to learn how to play a guitar, but they stop because they don't have access to an instrument nor the time to learn or a teacher to teach them. I'm thankful for my dad telling me that I also have the opportunity 'to say no' if I don't like what's happening. If I don't like the job or if I don't like the school, look for something else. Other people have no choice. They have no choice but to keep on working and keep on studying for the course they don't even like so that they can earn a living. Isn't it great if you've been given a choice to say yes AND no? not 'OR' ... I meant 'AND'. Meaning if you've said yes, you can still say no afterwards.
I'm thankful I'm okay. There's no problem with my health. I haven't gotten sick for as long as I can remember. And I'm not paying the air that I currently breathe. I'm not sick and my bro gives me multivitamins for free because he works in a pharmacy.
I'm thankful I have friends. They help me. They keep me motivated. They keep me inspired. They keep me company. They're there when I'm bored, when I'm happy, when I'm sad. I have people with me. And when they have troubles as well, I listen to them. I help them. I keep them motivated. I push them to be inspired *hopefully*. I keep them company by doing lots of silly things. When they're bored, when they're happy, when they're sad, I'm here and there for my friends. And whenever we meet, I feel glad that I made some friends here. I'm thankful. Because I get a lot doing simple things with my friends. And those things are sometimes hard to find such as happiness.
I know problems will keep coming. Who am I kidding? But without them, I'd be clueless in life. When problem comes, we find solutions. Without problems, there'd be no solutions as well. So if I haven't had so many problems in life, I wouldn't know so any solutions. So I'm thankful that I got to face a lot of problems. I've learned so many things solving these problems. They're everywhere. It's like a game. I have so many quests to complete. But I'm sure I'd get exp afterwards. You know how it is, the bigger the quest, the bigger the exp.
... is my personal blog and personal fansite for the anime Kareshi Kanojo no Jijyo or His and Her Circumstances as it is commonly titled in the west.
